http://www.deseretnews.com/article/765649017/When-Satan-steals-your-motherhood.html
I thought this was an interesting article because I feel that I can very much relate to these feelings of inadequacy.
My friends and family all know that I am a new mother of beautiful twin girls. I absolutely love them and think they are just the cutest things on our block. However, their cuteness does not calm me down when they are both crying their hardest because they are ready for a nap or very hungry. It is in these times after I finally get them calmed down I look back and say to myself, why did I get so angry? They don't mean to make me so crazy, they are just communicating the only way they know how to. Yet, in those moments I can't think that way. I almost always lose control and get very frustrated with my girls and they are only 5 months old. According to the article posted above, I believe this is the moment that is described as "Satan stealing my Motherhood."
This is my own personal weakness that I will have to overcome. The biggest frustration I have is that I compare myself a lot to other moms around me. I hear them all say how they love being a mother and they love their child... and whatever else sparkly and perfect comes out of their mouths. I'm going to be perfectly honest here. I do love my daughters, but I'm not so sure that I absolutely love being a mom just yet. I think it is one of the hardest things to be! Especially when I have begun my journey with two babies! I get pretty crazy some days.
Some things that I do love is seeing my girls laugh and smile up at me. I absolutely love those looks on their face of pure joy. I love when they talk to me and I love how I can tell that they are so close to the veil. They used to talk to someone every time I sat in our rocking chair. I'm not sure who they would talk to, but as soon as I would sit down they would look out towards our window and start chatting and smiling up at someone. I'm pretty sure they were talking to some angel, perhaps a future sibling or a past ancestor. I'll never know, but I loved being able to see them calm down just by having me sit in that very chair.
I also love seeing them learn new things. It is fun to watch them concentrate so hard on something so that they can learn what it is or what it does.
One of my girls really enjoys seeing herself in the mirror. So that is our new thing when she gets angry. I'll bring her to the mirror and she starts to smile at herself or even laugh at times.
So, yes, I'm not perfect and I get very angry with my little girls sometimes and I often feel inadequate, but I do still love them and I know that I can do better.
I liked this part of the article that says: "Satan wants you to fail. And to feel alone. And to feel inadequate to what Someone Else has called you to do."
I love that last part "to what Someone Else has called you to do." That "Someone Else" is our Heavenly Father and he is the one who has called us to be mothers. He knew that I could handle being a mommy of twins. He never said it would be easy, but it would be worth it. I accepted that in the pre-existance. (I must have really liked a good challenge then :P)
As I said in the beginning, I am a new mom so I have a LONG way to go with MANY more lessons to learn. I know that with my Heavenly Father's help I can do all things. I just need to work on keeping the peace in my life.
I take my days one at a time and I do my best to be my best. I wish all you other moms out there luck with all that you have to do. I know it is not easy, but the effect that we have as mothers is incredible and divine. It is our mission to bring God's children back to him some day.
Thanks for reading.
No comments:
Post a Comment